


rising into love

by isa_writes



Series: rising into love [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, M/M, basically louis waxing poetic about love, louis realizing his love for harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24900904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isa_writes/pseuds/isa_writes
Summary: Louis once wondered why it wasn’t called rising into love. Why something so beautiful was associated with a fall. Something that beautiful shouldn’t be analogous to something that can end in such disaster. Now, though, after so much time and so much heartbreak, he realizes that love can end in disaster if there isn’t someone there to catch you, just like falling.orLouis falling in love with Harry
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: rising into love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803301
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	rising into love

**Author's Note:**

> I rewrote one of my old works for louis and harry. This piece is based on Alan Watts' "Rising into love" I highly suggest you go listen to it!

_ I fell in love with the world _

Louis once wondered why it wasn’t called rising into love. Why something so beautiful was associated with a fall. Something that beautiful shouldn’t be analogous to something that can end in such disaster. Now, though, after so much time and so much heartbreak, he realizes that love can end in disaster if there isn’t someone there to catch you, just like falling.

Life, like love, is an act of gamble. You don’t know what you’re going to get. You can only hope. And that is exactly what Harry is, hope. Surrendering has never been Louis’ strong suit. Ever since Simon, and everything that was said to him, he felt he could never truly be open again. He never thought that someone would love him for him. One can’t hand their heart over to someone else and always expect it to be returned in full. One can’t fall and know that their body will stay fully intact. Love is surrender, and how is one supposed to surrender themselves if all the past has given back is broken pieces.

How is one supposed to fully surrender themselves, fully give themselves over to another person, and hope that they accept you. Louis knows, he knows, that Harry Styles will not turn away. He won’t walk away and spit words that so many have said to him before. Harry looked him straight in the eyes and called him beautiful. There was no hesitation. There was nothing, but love in those green eyes. Louis has never been called beautiful before. He never really felt himself to be truly beautiful. Not with his tummy always sticking out a little bit and all the comments on social media calling him a “rat”. He never felt truly beautiful, not standing next to all the other boys, but when Harry looked him in the eyes and called him beautiful, he felt it. 

Louis has never felt beautiful within his soul. The parts of him he’s been forced to change. The parts of him that were  _ too much _ . He’s always felt like he’s too much. Louis has never expected anybody to accept that part of him. He never expected Harry to accept him, to love him as a whole being. People always pick and choose. Nobody expects for somebody to love every part, even the ugly bits. 

Harry Styles is a risk. He is someone he shouldn't be with. Someone Simon would belittle him for liking. Someone that he could never openly be with, at least not any time soon. He is someone that Louis admires. Someone so caring and sweet. Someone who cares more about kindness than anything else, but he is a risk. 

Surrendering himself completely to Harry was not a part of his plan. He never wanted Harry to see a side that he wouldn’t like. A side that not many like. Because he wanted him to stay. Surrendering himself completely to Harry, giving him every part of who he is, and getting acceptance in return never crossed his mind.

Making mistakes, never being good enough, truly good enough, within his soul was a reality Louis accepted. Giving and giving and never expecting anything in return was ingrained in him. Taking care of others, leaving himself to permeate, and never thinking twice is who he is. Louis never expected to be first. He never expected anyone to look after him and believe that he was worth it.

Surrendering himself, allowing someone to take care of him, giving himself fully to another person is the hardest thing he has ever done. Allowing someone, besides his family, to see that he isn’t always confident and he has vulnerabilities is something he hasn’t done. Love is a vulnerability. Falling into love is an act of faith. Bearing one’s soul to another is an act of faith. Life is an act of faith.

The heart is a muscle not a bone. The heart can grow and learn and become strong as one lets it. Giving his heart to Harry was not an easy feat. Allowing someone else to do anything they’d like with it is not an easy feat. Somehow, though, it was slightly easier with Harry by his side.

With Harry and his bambi eyes. With Harry and his love. With Harry and his support. With Harry. Because Louis never truly noticed he was falling. He never felt as if he was in free fall. He only noticed when Harry caught him. When he caught him and smiled and told him he’s not going anywhere. When he caught him and didn’t let go no matter how hard Louis tried to push him away. When he caught him and looked straight into his eyes and didn’t flinch. When he caught him and called him beautiful .

Loss of control is not something Louis is fond of. Control helps him protect his heart and those around him. Control is something that comes easily. Anybody who is completely sensible wants control. But the idea of love is not entirely sensible. The idea of love is almost mad. Giving oneself to someone and allowing them to take your heart. Allowing somebody to do with your heart what they want is an insane idea. Love is mad.

So, sitting here, on a bed which is not his own, staring at his hands, which no longer feel a part of himself, Louis has given full control over his heart to Harry. Sweet harry who is right here, kneeling in front of him. Sweet Harry who is looking at him like he’s hung the stars. But if Louis hung the stars, he thinks, then he hung them just so Harry could see their beauty.

Love is not something that comes easily to Louis. The very idea to him is confusing. Why let somebody have full reign over your heart? Why let them choose if you stay whole, or end up broken? And yet, staring into the beautiful, wide eyes in front of him, he understands. He understands the very idea of love. The idea that somebody else can help you. Louis loves Harry without knowing how. He loves him so thoroughly it hurts. He loves him despite what the world says. He loves him despite the lack of control.

Louis believes love is mad. Loving Harry, giving him himself, is not sensible. What is sensible is to let go, to let Harry love him.

Love is mad, but within madness lies sanity.

_ When I fell in love with you _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed :) If you want me to make this into a series or write about harry's side of falling in love with louis leave a comment!


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